fuck, this sucks

it is
thursday
poker night
he says,
we will return
when you are ready
that ball is in your court.
but i know,
you will not
return
it's too bad
i really like poker
fuck it,
i don't care
i will play again
because you are not here

you left ginsberg
did you forget?
you didn't forget that jacket,
did you?
i pick it up, ginsberg
i put it down
i don't care
i find bukowski
i am alone
in the bathtub
and he makes sense
but i still don't care
because you are not here

i want to write
release these demons
and that is
thanks to you
you are the writer
i am not
but i don't care
yes, i do
because you are not fucking here