karma police

he calls
he suggests
i should call her
let her hear it from you
and not one of us
he is right
i tell him
i have been waiting,
for the right time
there is no better time
than now

i hang up
and i call her
she is silent
she laughs
she despises me
i hear it in her voice

i call you
i know
i feel it in my bones
my heart stops beating
briefly
then panic
i cannot breathe
silence
i know
it is over
i know it is her
coming back
i guess i knew all along
and, i, like you
was deceiving myself

i call him,
your friend
my friend
i tell him
i called her
i tell him you and i
are no longer
he says
i am so sorry
i am in shock
i knew he was
considering taking her back
but he was not sure
i am so sorry
he says again
i would have never told you to call
i say
it is ok
i have no regrets

and i say to you, now
even if i knew then
it was over
i would have made that call
it was the right thing to do
a friendship
long dead

i still question myself
the betrayal
does it make me a monster
but in my heart
i know
this was meant to be
and yet, the one word
that runs through my head
is
karma