let the chips fall

a text message from superman
oh how i've missed him
comedy wednesday, poker thursday?
shit, i don't know
i text back
ok, but invite all
for i might be moving

right now, they are laughing
damn, i want to be laughing, with them
i need it
but i can't
i can't face them
it was only a month
with him
and yet, it felt like years
like the first time
the way it feels for him, with her
and so,
i sit here
not laughing
and think of tomorrow

i will make that lasagna, finally
i dream of a massive pile of chips, all mine
i will not cry, there will be no whining
i dream of superman walking in that door
and he is with him, he is back
he stays after they leave
but no, instead i will sleep alone
and awake to pack
homeless, soon
and he, a happy home